


How to Train Your Sasuke

by SweetGumdrop



Category: Naruto
Genre: Cat!Sasuke, Collars and Leeches, Daddy!Iruka, Humor, M/M, NaruSasu - Freeform, Ninja!Naruto, SasuNaru - Freeform, kakairu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-17 06:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8134258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetGumdrop/pseuds/SweetGumdrop
Summary: You can't just have your wild felines running around! You have to train them to be good and quiet and respectable dammit! Sasuke is not trained! How is that trained? He just ignored you!





	1. Chapter 1

Naruto gazed around the room looking at the people in the loose semi circle, the men off to the side and to his foster dad, Iruka, who was off by the side his hand tight on his cat's leech, Kakashi. Iruka looked like he was about to pass out. Naruto beamed at him and gave him two thumbs up. Iruka furiously pointed ahead of him where Yamato was currently glaring daggers at him.

He was currently the one suing Naruto and his cat, Sasuke who was kneeling quietly by his chair.

"Let us begin," Tsunade said clearing her throat, she was glaring too but for a whole other reason. "Yamato please present your case." And boy did he. He had piles of papers and several folders of all the shit Sasuke had got into. The accused feline pawed at Naruto's pockets til his cellphone fell out and he unlocked it, Naruto didn't even now that he knew the pass code, before he started to play bejeweled. It was Sasuke's favorite game.

Sasuke, the uncaring pussy that he was, made sure to have the volume low but obvious. Every time he got several combos the game would quietly but enthusiastically say 'brilliant' or 'superb' or 'amazing!'. Finally after a solid tense twenty minutes of ranting Yamato pointed a bony finger at Sasuke and yelled. "See! He's disrespectful! Send him back to the academy! Punishment! I demand he be punished!"

Naruto swirled his finger around in his ear before he plucked it off and blew the earwax off. "Ehh..." he drawled. "I thought you were suing me to have your shit fixed."

"Naruto language!" Tsunade sighed rubbing her temple.

"Punishment!" Yamato screamed ripping some papers in half.

"Yamato control yourself please. Have a seat." Begrudgingly he sat down. "Naruto..." Tsunade sighed again. "You said you had him under control. That's one of the conditions to having a feline of your own."

Naruto sat up fully. "But I do control him!" He snatched the phone from Sasuke's paws and stood up to stand closer to the semi circle. "Behold!" he said loudly as he spread his arms wide. "Sasuke come here!" He said spinning around. The cat elegantly rose to his feet and went to stand before his master. "See he came!" he exclaimed and scratched Sasuke behind a sleek black ear.

Tsunade shrugged, "I mean, technically he did..." she trailed off and off to the side Naruto could see Iruka nodding furiously.

Yamato jumped up. "Sasuke sit!" he snarled. Sasuke's eyes glanced over to him to pin him with a red eyed glare that promised murder. Yamato inched back. "Trained my ass," he muttered.

Naruto laughed out loud. "No, no, no you have to be sweeter to him. Look. Like this. Sasuke," he scratched under the dark haired cat's chin, "sit please?" he cooed. Without hesitation Sasuke sank smoothly to the ground and tucked his feet underneath him purring slightly.

"That's not a trained cat! He had to ask!" Several members of Tsunade's council nodded.

"Naruto," Tsunade scribble something down, crumbled it up, then tossed it at his head. Sasuke snatched it out of the air and proceeded to bat it around on the ground. Naruto gently pried it away and offered Sasuke his cell instead. "Just let him perform those and then you can go. We'll call the case settled."

"What?! This is favoritism!" Yamato barked. Several more councilmen shuffled at the table.

"Well... he is the strongest ninja we have. To be honest I'm not sure why you're so adamant to piss him off..." Tsunade mused scratching her chin and Yamato paled.

Naruto grinned and scratched the back of his head, "Nyahaha I wouldn't say the strongest nyahaha," he laughed and Sasuke stared up at him expectantly. "Okay Sasuke." He said and scratched behind the cat. "If you behave I'll give you catnip later. Deal?" The brunette didn't answer but the sway of his tail was a pretty positive sign to Naruto. "Sasuke sit." Sasuke stared at him and set the phone aside. "I mean on your butt." He did. "Sasuke roll over." He did. "Sasuke say please." He snorted. "Sasuke say meow." Sasuke rolled over on his side his tail slapping the ground. "Sasuke lay down." He remained where he was. "Well, 3 out of 5. I count that as a win!"

"He was already laying down!"

"In Sasuke's defense he could have got up..." Naruto nodded agreeing with himself. Yamato's mouth dropped open as well as Tsunade and several other council members. Iruka slapped his hand on his face and Kakashi patted him on the back. Naruto just kept laughing and Sasuke was quietly snoring on the ground.

"Naruto... please control your cat better and don't let me see your name on my list again. Now shoo, get out, go away."

"Yay! Sasuke did you hear that? We're free to go!" Sasuke didn't respond and instead just lay there but by the flicker of his tail Naruto could tell that he was awake. Since Sasuke didn't seem to want to get up Naruto scooped him up in arms and cuddled him. "Who's the best pussy in the world? You are! Yes you are!" Sasuke's eyes slit open as he gently laid his fingers on Naruto's lips. Sasuke wanted him to shut up. He kissed the fingers before Sasuke could pull them away.

As he passed Iruka and Kakashi Iruka slapped him upside the head and grabbed his ear. "Home!" Iruka hissed, "Now!"


	2. He Can't Get Anymore Trained!

Iruka sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Naruto was sitting on the couch booping Sasuke on the nose while the cat playfully pushed him away and Kakashi was lounging in the sunlight by the window, curled in a tight ball and snoring loudly.

"Naruto this is serious. They won't be playing favorites forever. Strongest ninja in Konoha or not." Iruka said kindly. Naruto was now on his handheld furiously clicking away while Sasuke kneaded the rug beneath his feet. Ready to take a nap.

"Neh Iruka! You worry too much!" Naruto paused his game to wave the dark haired man's worries away.

"I have to worry for all of us!" Iruka defended. A ripping sound brought Iruka's attention to the rug that Sasuke just shred his claws through. Iruka gasped. He bought that rug! "Sasuke!" he hissed. "Bad boy!"

The cat looked up at him with warm coal black eyes and his tail swaying behind him and slowly, as he kept Iruka's gaze he dragged his claws further down, ripping the rug open even more. "Naruto!"

"Sasuke why?" Naruto asked and tossed his handheld at the feline. Sasuke abandoned the rug in favor of leaping into the air to snatch the game. A devilish grin wide on his face before he hurled it at Kakashi. It smacked the silver haired cat on his bum and startled him so badly he yowled and scrambled to get away from danger.

Away from danger meant up the sides of Naruto's curtains, shredding the material as he climbed. "Kakashi calm down!" Iruka yelled frantically hurrying over to his companion, glaring at Sasuke as he went.

"Why'd you do that?" Naruto demanded as he got up off the couch. Sasuke hissed at him and clawed at his hands whenever Naruto tried to get close to him.

A crash sounded from behind the two and Naruto hesitantly looked around to see Kakashi sprawled on top of Iruka who had tried to rescue him, the curtains splayed on the ground and bits and pieces of glass from the window now broken.

Sasuke's purrs made him look down to see the cat on the back of couch, tail swaying and smirk on his pretty face as he watched the mess he made. Naruto quickly snatched the back of his neck before he could run off and reluctantly attached him to a leash and tied him to a leg of a table.

Iruka glared daggers at Sasuke while Kakashi draped his large body across his master's lap and was being cuddled and stroked and petted while Iruka whispered soothing words to him. "Sasuke is a bad cat." Iruka muttered after a long sullen silence.

"Well… I can't say that you're wrong about that."

"You need to take him to the cat training academy."

"Noooooo..." Naruto whined. "I hate it there. Everyone's pussy is so much better trained than mine."

"Well maybe if you didn't slack off with him!" Iruka snapped even though Kakashi more or less had calmed down now. Iruka was just sensitive, Naruto understood that.

"Okay okay okay. I'll make you a deal. If I can get Sasuke to be like, the very best there ever was then will you not force me to go to the academy?"

Iruka squinted at him, "Was… was that Pokemon…?"

At least Naruto looked abashed. "Do we have a deal my worrisome daddy?"

Iruka sighed. "You have one month."

Naruto whooped and pumped his fist into the air. "Yes! More than enough time."

Iruka smirked at him. "And then when you fail it's off to the academy~"

Naruto frowned at him, "Where's the faith? Where's the love?"

"Well… in my defense," he mocked Naruto's line from the court session earlier. "Sasuke just lifted the table and pulled his leash free."

Naruto spun around to see a wide eyed Sasuke still holding the table up with one hand and his now free leash in the other. "You rotten pussy!" Naruto yelled as he dropped the tattered remains of his curtain and darted after the cat. Sasuke grinned at him and ducked under the table his eyes slits and glowing in the dark as he waited for his master to catch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just for fun. Has nothing to do with the HTTYD fandom. Just me and my like for cats.


End file.
